Give a Velociraptor. Get a Velociraptor. Change the World.

   
   
   
   
   

Cambridge, MA - Even as Amazon.com and OLPC prepare for the second "Give One, Get One" (G1G1) program, they are already undertaking an even more ambitious endeavor. The G1G1 program allows people to purchase two XO laptops - one for themselves, and one to be pledged to OLPC's programs in developing nations. Last year, the program was met with phenomenal success, pledging over 150,000 laptops.


Jurassic Park anyone?

This year, in addition to the "Give One Laptop, Get One Laptop" program, OLPC is offering a "Give One Velociraptor, Get One Velociraptor" as part of their newly announced "One Velociraptor Per Child" initiative. The program will enable donors to purchase one "XD Velociraptor" for themselves and pledge one to a child in a developing nation.

While all we'd previously seen of the secretive OVPC project are a few blurry cell phone photos, VP of Genetic Engineering Andrea Lai assured the public at a press conference held last Tuesday that product details would be unveiled on their new website. "I know it may seem like we've waited for 245 million years for this," Lai told reporters, "but it's worth the wait."

Hours later, Chief Operating Officer Greg Marra unveiled hardware descriptions on the site. "The random number generator driving the XD's evolution was designed collaboratively by experts from both academia and industry," Marra explained. "We have been fortunate to draw upon many geologic periods of collective field experience for every aspect of this nonprofit humanitarian project." Thousands of visitors flocked to the site in the first few hours. "It's also biodegradable," noted Marra of the product.


VP of Survival Tactics Mel Chua told us that there are still some tough decisions to be made before the G1vG1v program can launch."We're still looking into how to ship the XD Velociraptors via air freight. Our internal testing never involved low temperatures like those in cargo holds, and the decision to go with a cold-blooded system for the XDs is something we will have to accommodate."

Still, OVPC believes that they will be able to solve these shipping problems in time to fulfill orders for the holiday season, and the entire organization seems cheerfully optimistic. "We hardly ever wind up in the ER these days," said Chris Carrick, VP of Testing and Support. "In fact, we haven't lost a single member of our QA department in over 3 weeks."

The first dinosaur deliveries are expected to arrive in time for Christmas, and Chairman Nicole Lee is looking forward to making the first delivery in person. "The first deployment will be on an island 120 miles west off the coast of Costa Rica," Lee announced on the company's blog last night. "I called our first recipient, Alexis Murphy, last night.

She asked all sorts of questions about the XD. 'It's a Pnix sytem?' I was blown away." In the post, Lee goes on to recount Murphy's reaction to being told that she'd been chosen for the first XD. "She wasn't surprised at all! She shouted 'I know this!' into the phone, and explained that she'd been reading our blog. It seems that we've already begun to cross the digital divide."

Murphy's brother, Timothy, is scheduled to be the second child to receive a dinosaur.

For more information about One Velociraptor Per Child, visit their website at http://velociraptorz.org. OLPC's partnership with Amazon.com will begin taking orders for the G1G1 program starting November 17th at http://www.amazon.com/xo. For more information about One Laptop Per Child, visit http://laptop.org.

Authors: Greg Marra, Nikki Lee, Andrea Lai, Chris Carrick, Mel Chua.

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7 Comments

hmmm... this would be mildly amusing if at least one of the authors of this post wasn't also listed as a member of the new Official blog! Clearly, this is just some kind of official marketly ploy. In which case, this is not so funny after all.

Oh well.

Lighten up CleverGirl, its a funny take on OLPC that we all should get a chuckle with. I know when I saw how well they'd spoofed the OLPC website, I hurt myself laughing. Its better than the One MacBook Per Child April Fools joke a while back: http://www.olpcnews.com/commentary/press/one_macbook_per_child.html

Thanks for sharing this!

Don't be taken in by this. I got very interested in One Velociraptor per Child when I saw them on "60 Epochs", I ordered one, and when the box came, it looked more like a Deinonychus than a Veliciraptor, I mean can't they even get their ornithischian dinosaurs straight? They made it sound like you could power this thing with a Brontosaurus, but did they provide a Brontosaurus with it, no! I had to go out and get my own bronto and that thing has made a mess of my primeval swamp and eaten all of my cycads. This is the worst Dromaeosauridae ever, get yourself an Archaeopteryx, those things really fly. . .

(removes tongue from cheek)

They have a Vice President of Survival Tactics.

You've got to respect an organization farsighted enough to see the need for a VP of Survival Tactics and fear the organization that has a need for one.

A good looking organization although I'm not sure about Chairman Nicole Lee's choice of haberdashery.

A bit on the "Sarah Conner" side indicating, perhaps, a propensity to sort out personnel issue in manner that would engender fear in the average velociraptor. Of course when you plan to loose swift, ruthless, fast-reproducing carnivorous dinosaurs on an unsuspecting world that's probably a good thing.

Sorry Wayan... just grumpy about Canada getting dumped... it's kind of made me fail to see the funny side.

*pulls out V/Normal Raptor Escape plan*

ive neven been the same since Jurassic Park came out *shudder*

hi wayan

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